The weeks after my miscarriage

Life as I know it has changed.  The day after the D&C we had to go to my brother’s rehearsal dinner.  During the rehearsal I was having a hard time, read the wrong scripture, and just wasn’t feeling it.   When my favorite cousin came up to talk to me I started crying.  She asked what was wrong and I told her I was just having a bad day.  I didn’t want to ruin my brother’s wedding so I didn’t tell anyone what was going on.

The day of the wedding my husband was amazing.   I was still not in a great place but I managed to smile and forget for a few minutes.  At the reception my husband and I danced all night.  He isn’t a dancer and I knew he was doing it to help me get through the evening.  I thought being at the wedding after my loss would be really hard but in actuality, it helped to get me out of the house and be with my family.

The next 5 weeks were a blur.   I cried everyday for the first 2 weeks and then it started to get easier.  I would only cry every other day, and then every 3 days, until it was about once a week.  I felt like a piece of me was missing and it was hard.

I had a beta draw once a week to track my HCG levels down.  It took 4 draws until my levels were below 0.   5 weeks after my D&C my period started again.  I can honestly say I’ve never been happier to get a period in my life.  It meant that we could start over again.  I also had an appointment with my RE that week.

When we go to the RE’s office he simply talked to us, no exam.   We discussed the miscarriage and what our next steps were.  He told us we could try again right away but I told him we were just going to give it a few months of trying naturally before we would go back into treatment.  He told us that was a good idea and then we left.

Trying to conceive after a loss

The first time we had sex after the miscarriage was rough.  I don’t know how else to describe it.  It took about 2 months after the D&C for me to be ready to try again.  When we did it was fine during it, but after we were done I sobbed.  My poor husband didn’t know what to do so he just held me feeling bad.  I told him it wasn’t his fault because it wasn’t.  I was just sad.

I’m happy to say that’s the only time I cried.   After that first time things went back to normal.  It was just getting over that first time before I started feeling better.

My husband and I also decided to change RE’s.   We decided to go with the RE who we monitored with and who performed my D&C.   It wasn’t because we didn’t like the RE, it was simply because this one is only an hour away from us instead of 2.  Initially we couldn’t start with him because my insurance wouldn’t cover him, but it changed in July and now he’s covered.

I made an appointment to see him for an “initial consult” December 12.  It’s funny that I had to go to an initial consult or new patient appointment since he’d been seeing me for 11 months by this point but that’s the way we had to do it.   This gave me a timeline of knowing when we were going back into treatment. It would be 3 months after our D&C that we would start back into treatment.

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