WTF Appointment

SO yesterday I had my WTF appointment about why our IVF cycle failed.   We went in expecting the worst.  I really thought the RE was going to push donor eggs.  He’s brought them up before and I thought for sure, after only having 2 eggs fertilize, that he would bring them up again.

We walked in and it was standing room only.   The RE was in a chair and my husband and I had a chair but there were 2 med students standing and our nurse was in the room standing.  It made me really nervous.  Our doctor pretty much drew a diagram and explained everything to us.

We ended up with 9 eggs.  Of those 9 eggs only 5 of them were mature.   However, 2 of the eggs were close to being mature and did end up maturing in the lab. The other two were straight immature.   Of the 5 mature eggs, only 2 fertilized.  This could be due to quality, it could also be due to the fact that I had some endometriosis in the follicles.

So, the doctor basically thinks it was just bad luck.  The one embryo wasn’t good quality so they said that was typical.  The other looked good but 42% of embryos that look good have genetic issues and will not implant.

This is when I got a list of 3 choices.   The first choice was to keep the same protocol.   He immediately crossed that out and said it would be stupid to try the same protocol.   The second option was to learn from this previous cycle and try a new protocol.  The third option was donor eggs.  However, my doctor feels that even though my AMH is really crappy, my ovaries responded well to the Follistim and that I should try

Now that he knows how they react, he has a better idea of what to do.   Part of the problem was my estrogen level so we are going to do estrogen priming.  We will also be starting me with Lupron along with the estrogen instead of using Ganarelix.  Then he is going to crank up my Follistim dose.  The hope is that we will have more mature eggs and better quality eggs.

Let me tell you how I feel about this.   I feel good because it’s a plan and he thinks we can do this using my own eggs.  I also feel good because I can take a month or two off before starting again.

Now for the bad.  I’m scared to death.  This is probably our last ditch effort.  It’s the last one my insurance will pay for and we don’t have the money to go beyond insurance.  I’ve been a crying mess the last 2 weeks.   I can’t even imagine doing this all again in 2 months.  My butt is still itchy and sore.   I am up 5 pounds.  I don’t have much motivation to do anything and I’m worried about the future.

But here we are.   We can’t wait another year to do this all again.  For one reason, I turned 35 this week.  I’m not getting any younger.   My husband is older then I am.  Another reason is my AMH and FSH levels suck.   They aren’t going to get any better.    The doctor actually wanted me to go ahead and do this cycle late August/early September but that won’t work with my schedule.  My nurse says October will be better anyhow.  We will see.

So friends, I probably won’t be writing too much over the next month or so.  If I have some thoughts I’ll write them here.  If not, I’ll be back in September when things start heating up again.  I think for now I need a bit of a break from everything.   I’m stressed out, I’m sad, and I’m in a state where I don’t know what the future will hold for me.

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5 thoughts on “WTF Appointment

  1. 30yr old nothing

    Hopefully the 2 month break will be just what you need. Sending you plenty of love and strength. These doctors know what they’re doing and it sounds like they’re all in the fight with you. You have a great team working for you 🙂

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