Is This The End?

Sometimes I have a hard time believing I’m 35 years old.   Sometimes I have a hard time believing I’m not a mom.  Sometimes I have a hard time believing I’ll ever be a mom.

I’ve been thinking about our next cycle a lot lately.   Just yesterday I looked at my husband and said, “How do you feel knowing October is most likely our last chance to have a child?”  I didn’t think about it when I said it, it just came out.   My husband looked at me with something like panic on his face and replied that he didn’t know October was the end.

I then explained that under our insurance it looks like 3 IVF cycles is all they cover.  Sure my nurse and financial coordinator says that we could probably get one more on insurance because of a few things but there is no way we can do that without having it in writing and I doubt they will send that to me in writing.   We don’t have that amount of money to spend on another IVF cycle.  It scares me.

So we may be nearing the end.  Besides the money factor is the fact that I have an AMH level of .26 so I physically can’t keep doing this.  Emotionally it is draining and stressful and not good for us.   I’m hoping October is our last time, but our last time because it works.  I guess only time will tell.

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6 thoughts on “Is This The End?

  1. g2the4thpower

    Oh gosh I won’t say I know exactly how you feel, but I can understand how you feel. I tried looking back through your posts to see if you were taking any supplements to help with DOR or any other challenges you and your hubby might be facing, but I didn’t see anything specific (I’m on my phone too so I can’t search really). I recommend you read the book by rebecca fett “it starts with the egg” if you haven’t already. I had two shit rounds of IVF and our 3rd round was after 3 months of doing the recommended supplements & changes, and it made just the difference I needed. It could be worth a shot! I am sorry to hear you’re experiencing this, and I wish you a successful 3rd & final round. Xx

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    1. 26rainbow Post author

      Thank you for the kind words. I have the book and have read it. I’ve discussed some of the things with my RE and I’m currently taking CoQ10 and baby aspirin. I’ve made some of the changes (not eating out of plastic-using glass instead, etc). So maybe it will work for me.

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