So my cycle started on Friday, just like I told my nurse it would. She’s out of town until Monday but she gave me directions to get me started until then. I started birth control pills and baby aspirin last night and will continue these for 2-3 weeks depending on when my appointments fall. I have 2 days in November I can’t have appointments so they are working around that.
Right now I’m not feeling much about this cycle at all. It’s like it’s not real. I’ve already done 2 others so I don’t feel like I’m panicking and I don’t feel like it’s really here. All my meds are here minus the estrogen suppository. I’m still waiting on that. I don’t think it will feel real until I start stimming which is 2-3 weeks away.
It feels like another hopeless cycle, like all 30 of the ones that have come before this one. Isn’t that sad to say? That’s how many cycles we’ve been trying. 2 of those were IVF, 5 were IUI, and the rest were on our own. We also went a year prior to that with not trying and not preventing. So we are 3 1/2 years into this and I have to say it sucks.
It sucks that every month I still have a faint glimmer of hope. How can I hope when nothing has worked? I hate getting my hopes up only to have them crash down around me. My poor husband is always the one that has to pick up the pieces and I hate that. It’s not fair. I hate being down but it’s harder to be up and hopeful and then crash.
So, here we go! It’s IVF #3 and probably our final chance. I don’t think I have it in me to go for IVF #4 and I don’t think my insurance will cover it. My hope is to have 1 or 2 to transfer and 1 or 2 to freeze. We’ve never had anything to freeze so that would be awesome.