Wednesday morning was my egg retrieval. We got there at 8 and I was in the room by 8:35. The last thing I remember was putting my legs in the holders and the RE saying he was going to put the speculum in. After that, I woke up in the recovery room. My nurse came in and checked on me, making sure I was comfortable.
After 10 minutes my husband got to come back. I lay there for about 20 minutes before the nurse came back and asked if I’ve ever had endometriosis in my eggs before. I told her that last time I had IVF there the embryologist told me they found it in two eggs. She told me instead of having a pink tinge from the blood 3 of my eggs were a deep chocolate color which means they had something on them linked to endometriosis. I was scared at that point because I had no clue how many eggs I had.
About a half hour later my RE came in and held up 10 fingers! I was like I have 10 eggs? That’s awesome! He was smiling and happy, I was smiling and happy, my nurse was smiling and happy. At this point the nurse came in and took out my IV and had me drink some juice.
Twenty minutes later they had me use the restroom and I got my instructions. I was to start progesterone that night in case we needed to do a day 3 transfer. If we didn’t, they would use the laser on day 3, send it for PGD testing, and on day 5 we’d transfer some blasts.
I was feeling really good. I had one more egg then last time and I really felt like I had more going for me this time. I even told my husband I had a really good feeling that day.
Fast forward to today at 9:30 am. I got an e-mail from my nurse and a call saying to call her. I immediately knew something wasn’t right. I also had an e-mail sent from the automated system telling me I had an appointment on Friday…only 2 days after retrieval. I called back scared to death and it turns out my fears were well founded.
My nurse explained that this time 8 eggs were mature. Last time I only had 5. Unfortunately, they weren’t very good quality and only 2 fertilized this time. I also had 2 fertilize last time.
She told me they wanted me in tomorrow for a 2 day transfer. That’s when I knew it was bad. Last time we were able to wait until day 3. This time they wanted to get them back in on day 2 which means they don’t look good. I hung up the phone and called my husband crying.
After 4 1/2 weeks of shots and anticipation…we were in the same freaking place as last time, if not a worse spot. I am devastated. I know the research on day 2 transfers is spotty and there isn’t a whole lot of information. I also know 2 day transfers only happen when things look bad.
So now I feel sick. I don’t even want to go tomorrow. I’m scared by the time I get there my embryos will be dead. I’ve cried on and off all night. This is it for us, our last chance and it comes down to 2 embryos on a day 2 transfer that don’t look too great. To say I’m pissed and upset would be an understatement.
I don’t know how this happened to me and how we got to this point. I’m 35 not 45! My egg quality sucks. I can’t get pregnant. It’s not fair! NOT FAIR, NOT FAIR, NOT FAIR!