The Holidays are Hard

Well it’s been several weeks since I’ve written.   I’ve had my ups and downs.  Some days I’m totally fine while others are so hard.   I’m tired of hearing about pregnant people and tired of seeing friends with their kids.   My husband and I are older so I think people have finally stopped asking us if we’re having kids.  They assume we are not even though we’re still trying.

I wish people wouldn’t announce pregnancies in Christmas cards.   Do I really need to open a card to find out you are pregnant?  If you don’t want to call or write or let me know before hand we must not be that good of friends.  I don’t want a Christmas card and I certainly don’t want one telling me you are pregnant.

Then with the holidays comes children.  Everyone is talking about what to get their kids for Christmas.  They are talking about all the activities they are doing with their kids for the holiday.   It’s painful to sit and talk to people.

I went to a Christmas Party the other night and was actually sitting by two other couples who went through IVF and were successful.   As the night went on one of the men asked us to name a tradition we want to pass down to our kids and one we wanted to stop.  I played along but it totally killed me to answer that question.  It’s just hard at the holidays.

I think about how my baby would now be 7 months.  If I hadn’t miscarried last fall I’d have an adorable 7 month old right now and we’d be having such fun at the holidays.  It’s hard to think about.  It’s even harder when I realize the chance of me ever having a child is slim.

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13 thoughts on “The Holidays are Hard

  1. nicolamcgowan

    After liking this post, I felt kind of bad for doing it as I didn’t want to “like” it if that makes sense?
    I sympathise with you, it is extra hard at Xmas. .but then again, summer holidays are about the kids, Halloween is for kids, even Easter and all the eggs are mainly for children. I think if you’re in the frame of mind that we are, then kids are always gonna b on our minds.

    I hope u and ur husband have a wonderful xmas.. and dont lose hope 🙂

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    1. 26rainbow Post author

      Thank you. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas too! Also, don’t worry about “liking” this post. I always figure that it’s because you are commiserating with me! You are right that every holiday is about kids these days.

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    1. 26rainbow Post author

      This is so true. It’s hard when all of my friends have kids but since I also teach I’m around children every day. Some days it’s tough and others it not.

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  2. The EcoFeminist

    I know what you mean!!! Someone said something in a blog months ago that I remembered, was the sadness of knowing that if it DOES work, those who are still struggling to get to Square One will probably stop following your blog because it just hurts to much to see their success while we who are still trying feel like we’ve failed. I’ve made a personal decision to accept that this new chapter in my life will show me the best and worst of people around me, and that my own feelings and reactions will evolve as well. Some days we’re strong, some we’re under a blanket on the sofa staring at bad television. I’m now thinking about the new year and what I want it to look like -that’s what’s keeping my focus.

    Here’s to a 2016 for you that will bring you light and love.

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  3. Kimberly @ Infertility Unfiltered

    I think you’re on the right path. Just a couple more days to go and we’re in the new year. You will get where you are going. I think I might have said this already (?) I’ve lived by a saying this year especially..”it will happen the way its supposed to.” Just don’t give up. Have you thought about seeking out a second opinon? Even within the same practice. I didn’t 1) like my 1st doc at shady grove b/c he just seemed not to care at all. and 2) my 2nd doctor at another office (still shady grove) was the absolute best. It can make all the difference.

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    1. 26rainbow Post author

      I didn’t know you went to Shady Grove. That was my first clinic. I loved my nurse and my doctor was decent. We ultimately changed because my current clinic is an hour closer, it’s small, and everyone knows me and my history.

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