WTF appointment

Three weeks after my BFN I finally had my what the heck is our problem appointment.   Before going I had a feeling I knew what the doctor was going to say but we went into the meeting with positive thoughts.

We walked in and the RE went over the results of our 3rd IVF cycle.   We did the EPP protocol, got 10 eggs, 8 mature, but only 2 fertilized normally which is much lower then the average.  So my RE gave us 2 options.

failure

He laid it all out, the options are to cycle again using the EPP again because it had the best results so far, or the other option of egg donation.  Even though I knew this was coming it hurt.  I cried and got upset.   Before the appointment my husband said he’d do whatever I wanted to do but I don’t think he really understood egg donation.  After the meeting he understood and he’s not sure he can do it.

I get it, I do.   12 months ago when the idea was brought up (but not suggested) I basically told the RE he was crazy there was no way.  Fast forward 12 months, my AMH is .26, I’ve had 2 more failed IVF cycles, and the possibly of egg donation seems like a good option.   The problem?  A cycle costs $15,000 for 6 frozen eggs.   That’s not even fresh folks, that’s frozen.  Yes it’s probably $5,000-$10,000 cheaper then fresh but it sucks.  I’m not sure we can swing it.

Plus, I thought I was ok with the idea but I didn’t sleep at all last night, night did my husband.  We both tossed and turned all night.  It was awful.  We have a lot to think about.  Insurance will pay for about half of another IVF cycle which only has maybe a 25% chance of working but will be about $7,000 which is totally doable.  But a donor egg cycle has a 60% chance of working but is $15,000 and it will be hard to do.  Plus my husband isn’t on board.  He needs to think about it which I totally understand.

So right now we’re at a standstill.   We don’t know what we’re going to do but I know we aren’t giving up. I can’t.   I have to do whatever I can to try and have a child even if it isn’t biological.   In fact, I signed up for an egg donor site and looked at some donors.  It scared me, I won’t lie.  I’m not sure mentally or monetarily I can do this but we have to figure out what it is we’re going to do.

So my question is, have you used donor eggs?   Fresh or frozen?  Were you successful?  How many transfers?

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8 thoughts on “WTF appointment

  1. Kimberly @ Infertility Unfiltered

    This is a conversation definitely worth having/exploring. I think the scary part would be over once you sustained the pregnancy and then had the baby. It wont matter about the biology of it all. It will be your baby. Yours. And no one can tell you otherwise. Believe it or not, my husband was open to egg donation, but was not open to a surrogate using our own eggs just in case I couldn’t carry. You’ll get there. You will. You’ve been through quite a lot this year, so take this break as a blessing. Kind of get back to your normal routine, and hopefully get back to feeling you. Leave all those feelings back with 2016 and start tomorrow with a fresh mind! (how is it already 2016???)

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    1. 26rainbow Post author

      Thank you for your thoughts. I agree that if I get pregnant, no matter how, it’ll be my baby. Everyone will think so and I think I’ll think so as well. It’s been a crazy rough 2 years for us as our infertility journey started 2 years ago in January.

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  2. Julia C.

    Did they use ICSI on this last cycle? If not, would that be an option to increase the chance of fertilization? I am not sure if that is covered by your insurance or how much extra it would be but it might be something to consider. I was originally against it, thinking it was forcing something that wasn’t natural but after going through all the injections and everything else I decided why not increase our chances.
    It must be tough trying to decide if egg donation is right for you and your husband. I agree with Kimberly, once you hold that baby it will be yours and you will love it just the same.
    I wish you the best of luck and here’s hoping 2016 is your year!

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    1. 26rainbow Post author

      Hello, They did ICSI the last 2 cycles and it hasn’t helped. I just have poor egg quality. I agree that once I hold a baby it’ll be mine no matter what which is why I’m leaning more towards egg donation even though it’ll be hard (and expensive)

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  3. So, you're saying there's a chance?

    After 3 failed cycles we are heading into our WTF appointment next week. I’m scared our RE will suggest donor eggs or donor sperm. There’s so much to consider and I have no idea where we go from here either. Just wanted to let you know you aren’t alone. Thinking of you.

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    1. 26rainbow Post author

      Thank you for your reply. It sucks being in this place and it’s scary. I don’t know what to do either and it’s hard to let go of a dream. I hope your appointment goes well and I’ll be thinking of your in the new year.

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  4. libraryowl33

    So, an alternative to ask you RE about is doing a low-stem cycle. I’ve done two of these, for a cost of about $12,000 including meds, and have 3 (well, after my FET, 1) embryos. It’s something my RE suggest for anyone with low AMH (me!) because we tend to be poor responders to traditional IVF. Just thought I’d let you know about it in case you wanted to ask. Good luck!

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