I Think My Body Hates Me

I think the title of this post says it all.  Today I’m supposed to start my Lupron for my cycle.  I’ve been ready to go for the past week. Everything was going well until I woke up Saturday morning and realized I was bleeding.  Now I’ve been on the pill for the past 2 weeks and am supposed to take it until Friday.  I’ve had spotting before but Saturday was like full on period.

I of course panicked and wrote my nurse who told me to keep her updated on what was happening.   I wrote her back Sunday and said it was still bright red but it wasn’t as much.  At this point I was a wreck because this cycle has already been postponed twice and I cannot do it again!

So I was feeling sorry for myself all weekend and of course it was my cousin’s shower so I was feeling even more sorry for myself.  My sister-in-law helped at the shower though.  She and I stayed occupied and talking in the kitchen for most of the time and I actually had a decent time.   I’m glad it’s over though.  Baby showers are no fun when you are infertile.  Especially when people keep saying how cute everything is and showing you each item.

Back to my issues, I spoke with my nurse this morning and she said she’d talk to the doctor and see if I needed to come in for a scan or if I’m starting meds.  She called me about an hour ago and said to start the Lupron!  Apparently it’ll shut down my system even more then the birth control pills did and they should stop my bleeding.

So, we start the Lupron tonight.   I have my annual gynocologist appointment tomorrow (if my bleeding has stopped).  Then Friday I have my 4th IV Infusion as well as my baseline!  I’ll get my protocol that day and they will tell me if I’m a go or if we have to cancel.  I’ll also see my AFC.

I’m really nervous to see what my AFC is.   Now that my AMH is back up I’m hoping it’s a lot!  The last 2 cycles (my not so great cycles) I’ve had an AFC of 12 and 13.   Both cycles yielded 10 eggs.  I’m hoping for a few more eggs but I know in the end it’s the quality not the quantity that is going to matter the most.  I’ve only had 2 fertilized the last 2 cycles.  My first cycle I had 10 fertilized so I’m really shooting for 4.  That’s my magic number this time and I’m hoping it’s realistic.

So I’ll know on Friday whether or not I can start my cycle.  I’m really, really hoping that I can and we get this all going.  I’m very nervous about Friday and I hope I can calm myself before then.  I’m going to try and get my husband to go with me for this infusion so we can go out to eat and maybe go shopping afterwards.   That way if it’s bad news I can just eat and shop it away.

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