Category Archives: donor eggs

Can insurance give me another chance?

So, it’s been a few weeks since I’ve put anything down on the blog.   I’ve been going through a lot of crazy emotions and not knowing where I’m going or what I’m doing.  We haven’t made any decisions yet so I’m still in limbo.  I’ve been trying not to think of it and just keep charting like that’s all I need to do.

I called my nurse the other day and had them run everything through insurance.   On my policy it states a maximum amount of money they will pay out for infertility and then in my handbook it says up to 3 IVF cycles per live birth and unlimited IUI’s up to the max.  We’ve done 3 IVF cycles so I thought I was done.

When my financial person called back she told me that they won’t pay anything for a donor cycle.  No meds, no IVF, no transfer for me.  So I was feeling pretty bad for myself.  Then she told me she spoke to a manager and one fertility specialist and they assured her that they WILL pay for another IVF cycle.  WHAT???  Apparently though my handbook says 3 per live birth theirs says 3 per year up to my max.

So now I have more to think about.  I thought IVF was out because while we could afford the actual cycle we couldn’t afford the meds.   Now we find out insurance can pay for it.    My RE said he would do another cycle because I do produce a decent amount of eggs.  This would be it though, as this would take us to our max.

So I don’t know what to do.  I’ve been thinking it’s egg donor of nothing and now we have this thrown into the mix.  I don’t really want to go through everything again for the same crap results, but what if we have better results???  Well, we now have a lot to think about.

I Didn’t Cry Yet Today…

The last week and a half has been tough.   Hearing that our best option is donor eggs was hard.  The first day or two I laughed and made jokes to cover up how I felt.   Then I joined a website and started looking at egg donors.   There were some good ones and some not good ones but none of them really spoke to me.

I called two different companies looking for rates.  It’s looking like it’s close to $20,000 for frozen donor eggs and a cycle with them.  Why is egg donation so expensive?   Sperm donors don’t get nearly that amount.   I understand women have to go through IVF to donate their eggs but it’s their choice to do so.   I understand paying them an amount of money but charging between $10,000-$15,000 for 6 frozen eggs is INSANE!   That’s not even with any kind of guarantee that I’ll have a baby or even an embryo at the end of it.

I’ve been sad….really sad.   I cry almost every day when I get home from work.  I have nightmares about using our life savings to pay for egg donation and still ending up childless. These are the things that go through my head.  I wake up at 2 or 3 and can’t go back to sleep.  I come out on the couch, open up the donor bank, search for egg donors, and cry.  It sucks.

During the day when I’m at work I don’t think about it and I’m ok but when I come home I’m sad.  I don’t like the person I am right now.  I don’t like being sad, sitting on the couch all night, having trouble doing anything or getting anything done.   It’s not me, it’s not who I really am.  This is what infertility is turning me into and I hate it.

So now we need to think about our options.  Do we go with egg donation which is expensive and has no guarantees?   Do we give up and be childless forever?  Do we just try on our own?

I don’t know where to go or what to do.  I feel very lost right now and my husband doesn’t have much to say.  He says that is a lot of money and I know he’s scared by it, I am too!   But I just don’t know where to go from here.

WTF appointment

Three weeks after my BFN I finally had my what the heck is our problem appointment.   Before going I had a feeling I knew what the doctor was going to say but we went into the meeting with positive thoughts.

We walked in and the RE went over the results of our 3rd IVF cycle.   We did the EPP protocol, got 10 eggs, 8 mature, but only 2 fertilized normally which is much lower then the average.  So my RE gave us 2 options.

failure

He laid it all out, the options are to cycle again using the EPP again because it had the best results so far, or the other option of egg donation.  Even though I knew this was coming it hurt.  I cried and got upset.   Before the appointment my husband said he’d do whatever I wanted to do but I don’t think he really understood egg donation.  After the meeting he understood and he’s not sure he can do it.

I get it, I do.   12 months ago when the idea was brought up (but not suggested) I basically told the RE he was crazy there was no way.  Fast forward 12 months, my AMH is .26, I’ve had 2 more failed IVF cycles, and the possibly of egg donation seems like a good option.   The problem?  A cycle costs $15,000 for 6 frozen eggs.   That’s not even fresh folks, that’s frozen.  Yes it’s probably $5,000-$10,000 cheaper then fresh but it sucks.  I’m not sure we can swing it.

Plus, I thought I was ok with the idea but I didn’t sleep at all last night, night did my husband.  We both tossed and turned all night.  It was awful.  We have a lot to think about.  Insurance will pay for about half of another IVF cycle which only has maybe a 25% chance of working but will be about $7,000 which is totally doable.  But a donor egg cycle has a 60% chance of working but is $15,000 and it will be hard to do.  Plus my husband isn’t on board.  He needs to think about it which I totally understand.

So right now we’re at a standstill.   We don’t know what we’re going to do but I know we aren’t giving up. I can’t.   I have to do whatever I can to try and have a child even if it isn’t biological.   In fact, I signed up for an egg donor site and looked at some donors.  It scared me, I won’t lie.  I’m not sure mentally or monetarily I can do this but we have to figure out what it is we’re going to do.

So my question is, have you used donor eggs?   Fresh or frozen?  Were you successful?  How many transfers?