Category Archives: two week wait

We transferred!

Here it is Wednesday and I’m happy to report we were able to transfer on Monday.   I was so worried that our little embryo wouldn’t thaw properly but it turns out I didn’t need to worry.   Originally I was going to take off the entire day off from work but since it’s my easy day at school I went in for the morning.

At noon I came home and picked up my husband.   We drove the hour ride up to the clinic and arrived 15 minutes early.  I expected to have to wait but one of the nurses came a few minutes later to get me.   She had my husband and I change into our “gear” and then the embryologist came in to talk to us.

I know I’ve talked about him before but our embryologist is the best.  He’s been doing this since IVF was just starting.  In fact, he told us when he started the success rate was only 8%.   Can you imagine paying all of this money for an 8% chance??  Anyhow, he came in and told us that the embryo thawed well, bounced back, and was currently an expanding blast.  He did say he was going to do assisted hatching to make sure it could get out.  Then he left and they got us into the room.

I was reminded that this was a blast and that it was a good one.  They told me with had a 50% chance with this one which was what we had with the last one.  I know they were all pulling for us.    So we did everything we needed to do, they got the catheter in me and the embryologist brought in our blast.  A few seconds later I was PUPO!

I was rolled back out into the recovery area and the embryologist came back out.  He was all excited to do a show and tell with us.  It turns out he explained the freezing process in depth and then showed us the actual tube the embryo was frozen in.  It’s CRAZY how small the hole in the tube is that they have to get the embryo in.  He says it’s stressful because they have 90 seconds to get it into the freezing medium then get it into the hole and get it frozen.  The hole is smaller then the eye of a needle and he said that the embryo is about 1/10 of that size.

vitrification

He then gave us the tube that our embryo was frozen in as well as the tubing that it hangs from in the freezing chamber.   It’s pretty cool having that as a souvenir!   It has my code number on it as well as 2 colors.  The colors are for the stage and the grading of the embryo so it was one color for a blast and one color for “good” quality.

So now we wait.  My beta is December 15 so we are either going to have a miracle at Christmas or a really bad Christmas.  I’m nervous but I’m trying not to think about it.  I’m just taking my estrogen and my husband is giving me my progesterone in olive oil.  I’m trying to be positive but I don’t want to get my hopes up.  I do feel good about this cycle.  I feel like my body is more relaxed and things are going well but I don’t want to jinx anything.  Especially since we’ve done so many transfers before.

So just 8 days until we learn the fate of our first frozen transfer.  It’s funny that we’ve done 3 years of infertility treatments but this is our first time doing a frozen transfer.   I hope this is the end of our journey.  If it’s not then we have one more shot but when it’s the end of that cycle it’s the end of our journey and not in a good way.

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Two Week Wait (and things I can’t do)

Well here I am in the 2 week wait.   I’ve been pretty optimistic so far.   Having a decent number of eggs, the eggs fertilizing, having 3 blasts, them telling me they were good quality, and so on.   It’s been a whirl wind and I’ve been lucky so far.   I’ve felt pretty good and have been pretty happy but since yesterday I’m starting to feel down.

Maybe it’s because I’m 6dp5dt.   I feel like this is the turning point.  I could maybe test and see if it was positive or negative but I’m scared.    Yesterday I had horrible cramps in my lower abdomen and legs and it’s making me feel like my period is coming.   I’m hoping not, especially since I’m taking PIO shots, but who knows.   Otherwise I don’t think I’m having any symptoms.  My stomach has been queasy once or twice but I’m pretty sure that was from what I ate that day instead of being pregnant nauseous.

My beta is 4 days away.   I’m dreading it.   I know it could make me super happy but right now I’m thinking to myself that this is my 9th freaking beta.  Only once has it been positive and we all know how that ended.  I’m worried, I’m scared, and I really don’t want to go through all of this again.   The weekends go really slow and have me thinking about it an awful lot.   I just want Wednesday to be here so I can know for sure if it worked.

In the back on my mind I know I have 2 frosties so at least I have another chance but our clinics FET rates of success are low so that worries me too.  This was probably our best chance to have a baby and I just want to know now.

Also, my husband has been a stickler for me not doing things.  He doesn’t want me lifting heavy items, working out, or doing anything that could hurt the potential baby.  I appreciate the thought but I’m sure no matter what I do I’m either going to be pregnant or not.  I did skip zumba last week because I didn’t want to hurt anything.    I’ve also been careful not to lift anything too heavy but I can’t let this take over my life.

So here I am.  I’ll get the news on Wednesday.  Hopefully it’ll be good but right now I just don’t know.

Day 5 Update

I was pretty much a wreck yesterday.  I had the sound on my phone but I was hoping I wouldn’t hear it.   I was busy running around trying to get ready for the day.  Not only was I supposed to transfer if we had any blasts but we were going to my parents house for a picnic.  I figured they would call between 7-8 to let us know.

Around 7:30 my husband comes running to me with my phone telling me it was my nurse.   I started shaking so badly I couldn’t stand it.  I answered the phone and my nurse was really not herself.   She said a few things and I thought for sure she was gearing up to tell me that none of my embryos made it.

Instead she said that she had my 3 day report and that out of the 4 embryos THREE made it to blast!    I was so shocked I said, “NO WAY!”   She laughed and said, ‘YES WAY!”   I looked at my husband and gave him a thumbs up.  He looked very relieved.   She then went on to say that I had 2 full blasts and that one was good quality and one was fair.  I also had an early blast that was good.  She told me she’d see me at 9.

Well, I was flying high!  I really didn’t imagine having 3!    I had 3 blasts on day 5 my very first IVF cycle (over 2 years ago) and that was from 22 eggs retrieved and 10 eggs fertilized so having 3 blasts from 4 eggs fertilized was  shock.   We were planning on transferring 2 even though my husband was very nervous about that.

We got to the office right at 9.   I was supposed to drink 8 oz. water at 8am, pee at 8:30, then drink 8 more ounces.   Well I did that, but then right before we walked in we stopped at McDonald’s and I peed then too which was bad.  Little did I know that was going to save me!

When we got to the office it was packed!  There were no nurses or doctors in sight.  It was very odd.   After waiting until 9:30 (and being really happy I used the bathroom at 9) a nurse comes running out and shouts (yes shouts) we didn’t forget about you!   Apparently they had had an egg retrieval go badly.  Something about not being able to start an IV and then the woman having trouble during the surgery.   By the time they called me back it was 10 and everyone looked frazzled.

hope

My nurse simply said it was a rough morning and she was really sorry we had to wait so long.  I handed her the cookies I had made them and I got a big hug for them.  I think they all needed a little sugar.   I quickly got into my gown and onto the bed.   The woman next to me must have been the one with the bad retrieval because she was hooked up to a heart monitor and there was a lot of whispering over there.

The embryologist came over and said hi to me, then the other nurses did.  Finally my doctor came in.   He told me that all 3 of my embryos were now full blasts and that the embryologist says they were all high quality.   For that reason he was only going to let me transfer 1 instead of the 2 they thought I was going to transfer.   I was a little shocked but I went with the advice of my doctor.   I think my husband was a little relieved.

So in we all went to the transfer room.  It was me, my husband, one of the nurses, and the RE.   They left the door open which was crackign me up because of course I was naked from the stomach down.   Apparently the egg retrieval woman had left and I was the only one in the office since it was a Sunday.   My RE had to leave to get something and the nurse told me he was tired because he’s been up for 24 hours!   Not exactly what I wanted to hear but he was on call and there was a college football game (WVU if that tells you anything) and the ER was insane the night before.

But my RE is a champ.   He told me to relax, think pregnant thoughts, and told me this is the best chance we’ve had since coming to this practice.  I knew he was right.   I’ve been officially a patient there since November 2014 but I had gone to them for monitoring from March 2014-November 2014 so they know me pretty well.  We’ve been through 5 IUI’s, an IVF monitoring, and 3 actual IVF cycles together.

blast

Not my actual blast but it looked a lot like this one!

The embryologist came in, told us he was ready, and a few seconds later I was PUPO!  My husband actually saw the blast go in this time.  I’m not sure I did though!   Boo!  We waited, they checked the tube, and we were good.   The nurses rolled me out and the embryologist came out with his computer.

The thing I like about this practice is they sit with you for 30 minutes while you are on your back not allowed to pee.   The embryoloigst shows you pictures of your embryos and explains things.  He actually explained ICSI in detail to us and showed us him choosing the sperm, we saw the ICSI injection.  We saw all 10 eggs, the 6 mature ones, and the 4 that fertilized.   Turns out actually 5 fertilized but 1 did it a day late and was always behind.

The embryologist got really excited when he came to the day 5 pictures.  He told me that they checked the embryos at 7 and I got the report on that.   At 10:30 they rechecked them before they chose one and he was happy to tell me not only were they all full blasts but they were all high quality blasts.   He was smiling and really excited.  He told me that I surprised them all with these beauties and he would be really surprised if one of them didn’t make us a baby.

He’s a really interesting guy.   After showing us the photos he asked if we had any questions.  He then told us that he was in the group that did the first IVF monkey.   He apparently was written up in an article as being Dr. Frankenstein because he was the embryologist on the monkey.  How crazy is that?   He was also part of the team that has the 3rd IVF baby.  Talk about having a champ as my embryologist.  He said when they made the 3rd IVF baby the state actually made it illegal in between the retrieval and the transfer so they ran to a senator who happened to be a patient, and he added an addendum that made it legal the day before they had to transfer the embryo!   Crazy!  He’s a really fascinating guy.

He then explained the freezing process which sounds insane.  They have 90 seconds to get the blast frozen once they put the medium on it.   It sounds so stressful.  He said he and the other embryologist are dead silent and he gets nervous every time.   He says his success rate for freezing is pretty high.  I was also worried about their 2013 and 2014 SART data regarding frozen transfers but he made me feel a little better when he said that in July they thawed a blast and that woman got pregnant so this year seems to be better already.

So the question is what made the difference?   Why do I suddenly have high quality embryos when last time (10 months ago) I had 2 not so great ones and had to do a 2 day transfer?   There are so many factors.   I’ve been on CoQ10 for 1 year.   My AMH is back in the normal range.   My office got a my filtration system and new incubators.   I had the experienced embryologist and not the younger one.   I’ve been doing the NK cells infusions.  So many different factors.  No matter what I’m happy that our last cycle worked out so well.  I’m also happy that hopefully my 2 other blasts are frozen and we’ll have another chance if we need it.  They will call today to tell me if they froze.  Sorry for the novel but yesterday was really an exciting day for us.

The two week wait (day 11)

I haven’t posted in a while because I’ve been trying to stay positive and keep my mind off of my transfer.   It was also the Thanksgiving holiday which turned out to be a lot busier then normal.  I went to my parents on Thanksgiving day which was really fun and then the next day we had a dinner party.  Follow that up with brunch with friends today and it’s been a busy weekend!

So how am I doing?   Well I’m 11 days in and I was fine until yesterday.  I’ve really been keeping a positive attitude but as my beta date looms closer I’m starting to get freaked out.   I’ve seen stats that around 90% of people who do IVF get pregnant within the first 3 cycles.   Since we only have 3 cycles and this is the last one, what if we don’t get pregnant?  Then what?  It’s starting to become real that I may need to really think about this question.

As for the progesterone, PIO in olive oil is so much better.  If you remember I did it in sesame oil last time and by day 10 my poor butt was bright red with itchy bumps all over it.   This time I have the needle marks and occasionally it itches a bit but no raised welts and no crazy itching.  Thank goodness for the olive oil!

hope 1

As for the symptom watch, I think I’m having nothing but period symptoms which I know could be pregnancy symptoms, but they seem like period symptoms.  I’ve been pretty good until today.  Today my back is killing me, I have a slight headache, and I’ve been having pain and cramping in my lower abdomen.  I’m worried this is a sign my period is on it’s way.  Since I usually have a 12 day luteal phase that means my period would be coming on Tuesday if not for the progesterone.  Also, last time I started spotting at 13dpo so we’ll see what Tuesday holds for me.

For now, I’m still hoping and praying and talking to both my embryos hoping they are snuggled deep in my womb.   I’m hoping the pangs I keep having in my lower abdomen are just them really getting in there.   Only a few more days until my beta and I’m going betaa or bust again.

Embryo Transfer

So our embryo transfer was yesterday.  I went into the office with a positive attitude figuring if we were there at least one of our embryos survived.  My nurse made it seem pretty dire on the phone so I wasn’t sure what to expect when we got there.

The nurse took me back and got me dressed.   She then asked if I was transferring 2.  I told her if we had 2 then yes, we would be transferring them both.   She left to go get the embryologist to talk to us.

Let me tell you a little bit about our embryologist.   She’s young, in her 30’s, and loves her job.  She loves to talk about the embryos, the eggs, the sperm, the whole deal.  She’s really pretty awesome.  Plus, she’s very open in the fact that her son was born from IVF so she gets it.  I find those in the office who have been through really and truly get it.  My RE had both of his kids via IVF and the embryologist had her son via IVF.

When she came out she told us that of our 10 eggs, 8 had been mature.  She then went on to say that 5 actually fertilized.  However, 3 of them fertilized abnormally so they couldn’t be used.  One was a definite egg quality issue but the other 2 she wasn’t sure about.  The two that fertilized normally looked good though.

She told us that one of them was a 2 cell which was fine for day 2.  She told us that as of an hour ago the other was a 3 cell but when she heard me come in she took it out again and it had turned into a 4 cell so she was really pleased with that.  She also said that she graded them both good.   Our clinic grades excellent, good, fair, poor.  If you remember last time we had 1 fair embryo and 1 good embryo, so we were actually ahead of where we were for our last IVF.

She talked about how she had said at our retrieval we should think about putting in 3 if the quality wasn’t good.  While we only had 2, she wouldn’t let us put in anymore anyhow because they were both graded good.  This was good to hear.

After a while the RE came in.  He asked how we were doing, how I was feeling, and asked if we were putting 2 in.  He said he had talked to the embryologists and they both looked good.  He told me he’d be back shortly and we’d go in.

Twenty minutes later we went into the surgery room.  My husband was by my side and I was on the table.   Soon two nurses came in and took charge.  One put my legs up and got that part of me prepped while the other turned on the ultrasound machine and found my bladder and uterus.   Looking at it she said it looked great.

Then the RE came in.   He checked my lining and said it looked great.  He then cleaned off my cervix (the worst part in my opinion), and put in the catheter. He showed us on the screen where the catheter was and where the embryos would come out.

The embryologist came in, said my name, conferred with the doctor and put in the second catheter.  They counted to 3 and in went my embryos.   I saw the two of them go in and settle in my uterus.   My RE said it was a bullseye that they were right in the correct place.  My husband saw them this time too.

They checked to see that the tube was empty and everyone left the room except one nurse.  She offered me a bedpan, which I took, and left the room.  Unfortunately, this time I just couldn’t use it.  She came back in and took me out with my husband.

The embryologist came back out with her laptop to show us photos.  We saw each egg, each sperm, and it actually be inserted into the egg.  Then we saw all 5 of the fertilized eggs.  Then we saw the 2 eggs that fertilized normally and how they were this morning.  She explained everything thoroughly.  She also told us she played the radio for them and talked to them a lot telling them to hang on because they were going to be around for awhile.  She cracks me up.

After that we got to go home.   I’m trying to be positive now though of course every time I cough, sneeze, or lift anything I panic a bit thinking it’s going to affect them. Logically I know it won’t and they they are safe and snug in my uterus.  It’s up to them to implant here in a few days but no matter what I do they won’t “fall out”.

So now we wait the 2 weeks until my beta.   It’s going to be a long wait.   I’m having some pain in my abdomen but I’m hoping that’s just because we did transfer so close to retrieval so I wasn’t totally healed yet.

The News isn’t Good

I’m sorry I’ve been absent friends.   It’s been a stressful 2 weeks.  It started out with sciatica problems the day of retrieval.  I was in pain for 7 days.  It’s still sore but no longer shooting pain.  Then I thought my PIO shots were going well but on day 10….welts all over my backside.  They’ve been there for 5 days now, are huge, and itch…a lot.

I’ve been spotting off and on for 3 days now and have been feeling really down.  Today is 12 days post 3 day transfer and I got a BFFN on a home pregnancy test.   So I don’t have much hope that my beta will be positive on Tuesday.  To say I’m crushed would be an understatement.  I tested Wednesday as well with the same results.   I’ve been crying a lot for 3 days.

I don’t know if I can go through this again.  I don’t have many eggs left and the chances of pregnancy are not good.   I’m sad, I’m angry, and I want to know why me?   Why can I not have a child?   Why can some people get pregnant at the drop of a hat but we got through all these procedures and still aren’t?  It isn’t fair and it’s shaking me in ways I don’t like.

IVF #2 Embryo Transfer

I just realized I left you all hanging!    We had our embryo transfer early on Sunday morning.   When we got to the RE’s office they told me both embryos had made it and that the embryologist would be in to discuss them with us.   They had me get undressed and my husband was put into scrubs.

The embryologist came in and told us that the good embryo was now actually borderline excellent and she was really pleased with how it looked.  She said the fair embryo was now fair to poor.  She let us know that the chance of twins with these embryos is slim.  That’s what we wanted to hear as we are really just looking for one.  She asked if we wanted to put both back in and we said we did.  She called the fair to poor embryo a “helper” embryo.

After 20 minutes they took me back with my husband.   I got into the position and my old RE showed up!   He was in charge of the ultrasound while my current RE was doing the transfer.  It was nice to have them both there.   When they put the ultrasound on I was in a lot of pain because my bladder was so full.  The speculum hurt even more.  Needless to say I wasn’t in the mood to chat.

They confirmed my name then the embryologist brought in the embryos.  The RE showed us where to look on the screen and they counted down and put them in.   I saw both of them go into my uterus but my husband missed it…..again.   The RE’s were grinning each other and told us that we had a picture perfect transfer and they went in perfectly and in the right place.   They snapped a picture for us.

My husband was then kicked out of the room and I was given a bedpan.  I almost died.   They told me to relax, turned on the water, handed me toilet paper, and left.   It took a few minutes but I wasn’t about to sit there with a full bladder for 45 minutes.  So, I did it.

I was wheeled back out and the embryologist came back in with her computer.   It was super cool what they showed us.  We saw all of my eggs, saw the actual icsi process being completed, then saw the embryos on each of the 3 days.   The excellent one looked amazing!    We also saw them do the assisted hatching.  It was really cool to see.   Afterwards she told us that if we got pregnant, we would get a copy of the photos on a CD.

I lay down for 45 minutes and my husband and I just chatted.   My back and lower abdomen were still in pain and the RE said they probably would be for a week or so.   So not happy with that answer.  My beta is supposed to be the 17th but we’ll be on vacation so I can’t have it until the 21st now.  I’m usually a beta or bust gal, but I’m going to have to POAS before we go on vacation.

So now we wait.   I’ve been nervous about how my husband feels about the two embryos but he’s been great about it.  This morning he started talking to them both and he’s nicknamed them Lar and Bar.  It’s cracking me up.

We went out to eat today and I mean we both chowed down like crazy.  Finished our meals in under 10 minutes.   My husband was like wow, that was crazy.   I said, “Well I am eating for 3!”  We both cracked up.

The two week wait is going to take forever.   I’m sure I’ll post several times just letting everyone know how I’m doing but I won’t know anything until the 16th.  I’m really hoping this is our rainbow baby.