This week is National Infertility Awareness Week. It’s a week when people need to hear that they are not alone. 1 in 8 couples are infertile. It’s not something we should hide. It’s not something to be ashamed about. It’s not my fault, it’s not your fault. Infertility is a disease it’s not a choice.
I post about my infertility on this blog but in truth I keep my infertility inside. My husband and I are not public about our infertility. I have a lot of onlilne friends who know and I have 1 friend in real life who knows. My husband has one friend in real life who knows we’ve had trouble but not to what extent. Some days I’d like to come out and tell the world but I don’t want people feeling sorry for us. Other days I’m glad we haven’t told many people.
My parents don’t officially know but they do know something is up. They’ve offered us money for treatment, adoption, etc. I appreciate it and I know they love me and want to help. I know that they are aware that I want children and at 35 years old there is something wrong. I hide the specifics from them because it’s painful enough for my husband and I, I don’t need all the treatments, the appointments, the disappointment, the needles, the side effects, etc., to effect them as well.
This NIAW I plan on tweeting a few things about infertility because I’m fairly anonymous on there. I’m also planning on writing a few things on this blog about it. I think we need to get the word out. DO you know that only 15 states offer ANY infertility coverage? What a joke! Out of those only 5 states pay for IVF. I am so lucky I live in one of those 5 states. It’s one of the reasons I live here and haven’t tried to move in 4 years. I don’t think my parents understand why I’m not trying to get a job back home but the truth is, back home does not have any infertility coverage. Here in my current state I have a lot of coverage. It’s sad that so few states offer infertility coverage.
I’ll leave you with this message on infertility:
Hushed conversations, secret struggles, common misconceptions, ignorance.
The reality is much more than that. The reality is a group of people who fight a battle everyday for a glimpse of what seems to come so easily to… everyone else.
People who face heartbreak and fear and loss and unanswerable questions every single day. People who question every choice they make. People who wonder what they did to deserve this. People who willingly subject their bodies to tests and treatments and probes and medications…
with no guarantee of their happily ever after.
Getting excited when needles/syringes/medications arrive in the mail, (with a free cooler too!)
Watching your beautiful embryos on the screen…
…Only to be told two weeks later that your dream doesn’t get to stay.
It’s multiple injections daily that leave you with bumps and bruises in places that are not convenient to have bumps and bruises.
It’s eyes so swollen from crying that you lie with ice packs in hopes of being presentable to the outside world.
It’s laughing at yourself for thinking that maybe, just maybe this is the month.
It’s watching “it” happen for everyone else.
It’s a HUGE roller coaster of emotions.
It’s hoping you’ll be “that couple” who was told it would never happen but it did once they stopped trying/went on vacation/stopped stressing/got drunk/did this that or the other thing.
It’s also finding a strength in yourself that you never knew existed.
It’s finding new meaning in words like patience… hope… faith…
It’s discovering a new path.
It’s learning that even in the darkest of days, you will be ok.
Infertility is someone you know… your daughter, sister, aunt, niece,
Infertility is me…